A teaser trailer for a new, as yet unnamed, US based sitcom about whisky investment has garnered overwhelming praise for its blend of cringe-comedy, outrageous surrealism and outlandish characterisation. The trailer, which runs for a mere 2.16 minutes, has been sufficient to hook in thousands of whisky fans with many clamouring for news of when the full series will be available on Netflicks. It features the main character of Nicholas Pollacchi, a blithering Scottish haircut who oils his way around three pointless whiskies like a deep fried kilt while delivering outrageously hilarious dialogue to a couple of woodstained condoms full of wax. Writing in his gushing review on whiskybling.com, Jasper Clementine said:
“Who is writing this dialogue? At one point the lead character states that he foresees this ex-Duncan Taylor cask of Glenrothes that comes in some kind of disabled glitter ball as being ‘worth thirty to forty thousand dollars in ten years time’. This is beyond even the giddy heights of my all time favourite sitcom Allo Allo, did they get Aaron Sorkin to write it?”
The series has been commissioned and produced as a co-production by Shedrington Distillers and The Glenrothes, it is due to be unleashed sometime in the new year. Written by Mandy Sampsung of Whisky Highland it stars an unidentified, terrifying Scottish manchild as leading character Nicholas Pollacchi. Michael Palin as his arch nemesis Dr Nick Morgan, Samuel L Jackson as the mysterious Professor Jill Bumsden and Hodor from Game Of Thrones as the mighty George Grant. It will be directed by Danny Dyer with original music by Susan Boyle based on random melodies hummed by all the idiots on facetube who describe bottles in their cupboard as a ‘portfolio’.
Speaking after viewing the trailer between intense bouts of online pornography Victoria Shagging Barlfy, the human equivalent of the ’50 monkeys at a typewriter’ hypothesis but without the Shakespeare bit, said while wiping a sheen of sweat from her forehead with a tissue of questionable hygiene:
“What an interesting looking drama, I must watch it, how thought provoking. Now where did I leave that well thumbed copy of ‘101 Opinions To Contradict Before You Get A Massive Punch In The Face’ ?”